Disappointment is often associated with words like failure and defeat. However, it is these exact words that show us how to be better. They may have a negative connotation to them, but you can condition yourself to think differently. You have a choice, hang your head and sulk, or get motivated and inspired to improve what caused the disappointment. Don’t let words condition you; it is your actions that matter. How you handle the situation in the present sets an example that affects your future self.

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” Unknown Author

Do these 3 things to stay positive, motivated, and inspired; to clear away disappointment.

Create A Better State of Mind

Disappointment lowers your state of mind. It produces a foundation that generates feelings of self-loathing, sadness, and anger that you begin to feel and live. Dismiss the feelings but do not forget what happened. Use the situation to re-evaluate what you need to do to improve. Wiping it under the rug will cause you to make the same mistakes, feel the same disappointment again, and feel worse if you make the same mistake twice. Be more positive and proactive with mistakes to produce inspiration and motivation, not a disappointment. The more positive you are about disappointment, the better you will think emotionally, rationally, and logically.

Don’t Blame, Accept

Unwanted situations are going to happen. And, often, people are not willing to accept them. Disappointment produces hurtful and overwhelming feelings. It can cause you to be reactive. Relax, take a few deep breaths, and don’t point fingers to blame others for the fault or situation at hand. When you start pointing fingers and blaming others, it leads to a lower state of mind and the loss of rational and logical thought, lowering perspective and perception. Pointing fingers and blaming others causes them to feel the same as you, which is not correct. Gain some perspective first to understand what is happening, your role and position, and the other person in the situation.

Experience Emotions

People are not good at controlling their emotions. The more control you have over your emotions, the better and more positive you can be. It is ok to feel emotional and disappointed, but you don’t have to let it linger. That’s the problem. You need to feel the emotion, the disappointment. You have to go through the process of hurt and sadness to learn how to deal with it to make it positive and motivating; to learn how to move on. The more you do this, the disappointment you will feel will be less and less, and eventually, come and go. You will see it as a feeling, not a result, and not something to dictate your life. If you don’t feel it, you don’t know how to work with it and will not develop a process to deal with your emotions and move forward. This is great for you to learn and develop emotionally and understand how to deal with disappointment. It is the same thing as learning a new skill in your sport. The more you practice, the more instinctive the movement becomes and the faster you can do it. Winning and losing are supposed to happen. Playing the sport is supposed to be fun.

Think of some top professional athletes. They are not disappointed when they lose. It is a part of the game. It’s a part of life. They know not to feel disappointment or let it linger because it will affect their performance in other games. So, learn from your mistakes and then let them go. You have to learn how to get over it, or it will eat you up inside. Accept, process, and evaluate. Don’t escape failure or mistakes. Face and accept your mistakes or the issue so you can solve it and minimize any disappointment. If you turn your back or hide from the situation, you will not experience the emotion. And, therefore, you will always escape from situations and never improve. Never accept mistakes as failures or disappointment.

Follow these Dos and Don’ts

What you are feeling is ok. It is real, so understand your feelings. Ask yourself why you feel disappointed. Improve yourself now, and it will change your future. This is the time to make mistakes so you can be successful in the future.

Don’t turn your back on the problem. This will teach you to run away from disappointment or blame someone else and not learn responsibility when you make a mistake.

Learn mindfulness. It can help you stay present and understand what is happening in the now. This will allow you to discover your thoughts and ways of thinking.

Don’t overthink or overreact. This will produce bad and unwanted behaviors.

Never feel disappointed, especially when you try hard, give an outstanding effort, and have good intentions. Sometimes you don’t play well and lose. Sometimes you just have a bad day in a tryout. It happens. Keep in mind, you can never fail when doing your best. If you do your best, there is no need to be disappointed. Tenuta Nec Dimittam – “I have taken hold and will never let go”. This means to become stronger and never let go of who you are and what you become.

Original article posted on stack.com

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